So as you know if you read this blog at all regularly, I’m working on a middle grade novel. A few entries back I made it my goal for February to have my (hopefully) final edits done to the novel by the end of the month. N had recently given me a last round of comments on the manuscript and I just needed to figure out how best to implement them.

Last night, while outside, looking at the stars, things suddenly clicked. I was thinking, rather lazily, about the novel, and suddenly pieces started to fall into place. Ways I could change the beginning to trim wooden and useless characters, ways to beef up characterization, ways to make the plot make more sense. It became like the proverbial snowball rolling downhill. As I thought of new changes, others arose from them. And suddenly I was excited to dive back into the novel and revise it because I was making it better.

I paid for my excitement with a lack of sleep, but I managed to barrel through the first few chapters, almost completely rewriting one of them. And I’m excited to get back to it. To continue making the changes and bring everything in line with the vision I have of its altered shape.

Only…there’s a bit of doubt that’s crept in. Which I suppose, for me, is natural. Last night it seemed like this diamond-edged ideal of a novel, but today I wonder if it really is better. Are the boring parts still just boring in a different way? It’s hard to tell. There still exists this desire for validation. I wanted to call up a handful of people and describe my changes and see if they sounded good to everyone.

In the end, though, I have to do what makes sense for me. There may be more fine tuning to come, but hopefully it will be just that and not major rewrites. And now that I’m on a roll, I’m hesitant to lose the momentum. So I’ll continue and hope that what emerges is stronger and more effective.

Incidentally, while it’s nothing new, I’m always amazed at how the subconscious works. I often get feedback on stories and sit, frustrated, unable to figure out how to make changes. And in those moments you forget that often the brain needs time to digest things, to work out problems behind the scenes. Then, often for me while being outdoors and walking or just not thinking very much about anything, inspiration will hit, and things will line up in a seemingly magical way. It’s just all the work is being done by the subconscious. Still, magical.

Is it similar for you?