I talked a little about Santa in the last post, but I thought he deserved his own post. Santa has had a long and varied history. Originally known as Father Christmas, he started with a much different appearance – taller, thinner, dressed in green. He has been associated with Old Man Winter, and even Woden, and of course conflated with St. Nicholas. What, then, shall we make of these transformations, and the evolution of the story? What can we make of his traditional annual journey that is accomplished, globally, in what seems like the blink of an eye?
I have an easy answer: Santa Claus is a Time Lord. Think about it. The various incarnations are different regenerations. The current one is what we think of as the jolly, plum Santa in red and white. His ability to bend time? Child’s play. His TARDIS clearly sets its chameleon circuit to resemble a sleigh with reindeer pulling it. How to fit all those toys inside it? Clearly, it’s bigger on the inside.
It’s clear that Santa is eccentric, a quality that all Time Lords seem to have in some measure or other. It’s not that far fetched to think of Mrs. Claus as a former companion who decided to stick around. Or maybe there are many Mrs. Claus’s? How else to explain Rudolph and his unusually bright nose? Simple – exposure to the time energies of Santa’s TARDIS might have an unexpected side effect.
It’s not that difficult to think of someone from Gallifrey coming up with the idea to give gifts to all the children of the world on the same night every year. Perhaps the rest of the year he spends his time carousing through Time and Space, perhaps coming up with new ideas for his toys and gifts. The elves? Clearly some extraterrestrial creatures whom Santa saved from some planetary disaster, giving them refuge on Earth. And why Earth? Well, we’ve clearly seen that Time Lords have an unusual attraction to the planet.
Through the Time Lord lens it’s easy to make sense of all of Christmas’s mythology – the devilish Krampus being some other alien entity, a snowman coming to life may be its possession by some kind of non-corporeal entity. And so on.
Whether or not you are willing to believe, I hereby induct Santa Claus into the Time Lord ranks along with The Doctor, The Master, James Bond, and, well, me. I think he deserves to be there.
A good many things go around in the dark besides Santa Claus. – Herbert Hoover
What do you think of my little theory?